Some places where you can speak English

English is spoken as a first language by more than 300 million people throughout the world, and used as a second language by many millions more. One in five of the world's population speaks English with a good level of competence, and within the next few years the number of people speaking English as a second language will exceed the number of native speakers.

This could have a dramatic effect on the evolution of the language: in the process of being absorbed by new cultures, English develops to take account of local language needs, giving rise not just to new vocabulary but also to new forms of grammar and pronunciation.
At the same time, however, a standardized 'global' English is spread by the media and the Internet.

The main regional standards of English are British, US and Canadian, Australian and New Zealand, South African, Indian, and West Indian. Within each of these regional varieties a number of highly differentiated local dialects may be found.

Ponderisms

1. Can you cry under water?
2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
3. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
4. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
5. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
6. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
7. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
8. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
9. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
10. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
11. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
12. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?